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Friday, September 27, 2013

T+95: Urban, Wild, and Weird in Wisconsin

Mile 3293: PORT STANLEY, ONT

We are out of Medford early, on our way to Wausau, cutting across the center of Wisconsin, and moving as fast as we can.  We have been following Highway 64 and it has been a good run, but today, we have to cut south, and start making our way to the ferry at Manitowac. 
Something shifts as we move further south.  The day before we had dubbed Wisconsin the “Deer Lawn Ornament Capital” of the USA.   Today, on Highway 97, lawns are not decorated with concrete lawn critters, instead we start to see “Impeach Obama,”  “Nobama” and “Walker is Right” signs.  There is a huge uptick in the number of flags being displayed.  The road is rougher and the traffic is faster.   The sense of play that marked the day before is gone.

Just outside of the town of Athens, we are on a high point, and can see big ridges in the distance.  That must be the “mountain” of the Mountain to Bay trail.  Road A heads due east toward Wausau, but we have decided to take Road M, after lunch in Athens, which winds over to Wausau and will get us off this rather unpleasant, rough road.

We take a quick ride down to the bridge over the Big Rib River and come up into town of Athens, which is dominated by a lush central square.  We are ready for lunch, but don’t see a café.  There’s a bakery, and we enter there in hopes that there might be sandwiches.  The coffee is off and the bakery only has sweets, so I ask if there is any place we can get a sandwich in town.  She points with her thumb and says, “The mercantile next door.”
With visions of cold sandwiches wrapped in plastic, we go to what appears to be an early 20th century five and dime.  We open the door and are completely surprised.  What had been a variety store has become a charming café with wooden tables covered with flowery tablecloths.  Two women sit at a table, with laptops opens, obviously in a heavy work-related discussions.   A group of solidly built, mostly blonde, men and women, are scurrying about, preparing for the lunch rush.

When the youngish waitress arrives at our table, she announces that the special today is smothered pork chops with mashed potatoes, corn, and coleslaw.  Thinking that the side dishes sound better than the main dish, I ask if the corn is fresh.  Oh, no, it comes from a can, she says sheepishly.  At least she recognized the oddity of her answer.  The food is good, and as we eat our lunch, we watch a constant parade of folks, some in business garb, some fresh from the fields, come to eat and visit.  The customers visit with each other, but only look at us. 

After lunch, we ride down to Road M, which is closed. Now what?  The next road is Wisconsin 29, but it is unlikely that this divided highway will allow bikes.  We ride the 10 miles to 29, and sure enough, bikes are not allowed.  Our next choice is to go 5 miles to the south and take Road N.  The wind is blowing hard to the east and we need to go east, but we keep heading south, looking for a paved road.  This is definitely one of the disadvantages of trying to figure out your own route.

About a mile south of 29, we choose to take a dirt road.  Bad choice.  The surface is soft and our tires are slipping around.  We wobble alongside farms in the midst of their harvest.  Wes hollers at farmer on a huge tractor, “Does this road go to Wausau?”  He says, “Sure,” but his face says, “What on earth are you doing here?” We muddle on for another mile or two, while I get more and more frustrated.   Riding the 10 miles extra to get on a paved road now seems absolutely necessary. 

We make our way to the paved road, get the tail wind, and it’s a good thing because it is very hilly.  The area around Wausau is characterized by big hills and two anomalous big mountains which can be seen for miles.  Why there are mountains in the middle of Wisconsin remains an unanswered mystery to us.  We get a nice wind assist as we climb ever higher and higher hills.  A few miles in, the road suddenly becomes very busy.  Highway 29 has been closed for repairs.  Now this little country road with no shoulders is crowded with big trucks and fast cars.  A few times we have to leave the road on steep hills to let trucks go by.  It pretty much sucks.   As the afternoon wears on, and we are still a long way from Wausau, we stop at a pub for a break.  The waitress seems surly, but when another man comes in and engages us in conversation, she warms up and ends up buying our root beer and beer for us.

We finally get to Wausau via the largest plastic land we have seen on this trip.  We cross a big waterway and make our way downtown, where we have a room.  The Jefferson Street Inn is part of the re-development of downtown.  Former factories and warehouses are now trendy, upscale boutiques and bars.  For the first time since we left Portland, we see people in suits.  We really stick out in our grubby bicycle wear, especially as we push the hotel cart with our baggage around the street to our entrance.

We go the Happy Hour in the hotel bar, and get a big kick out of watching the young urban professionals work the room for love or money.  Wes has an overly sweet martini, just like most of the young women in the room.  We end up in the dining room, next to a group of six young women from the same office.  We watch them in the mirror, and listen closely as they hash and re-hash office politics and the bad decision-making of their supervisor.  It is clear that one side of the table is strongly anti-manager, with the woman in the middle dominating the conversation.  The woman on the opposite end of the table is offering resistance, while the two women next to her look like they want to disappear.

The next morning, at the breakfast bar, we see for the first time that there is flooding in Colorado around Boulder.  My eldest brother, Stephen, lives up a mountain canyon on a creek just outside of Boulder.  Back at our room, I try calling all of my brother’s numbers.  There is no answer.  We cannot even leave a message.  I text.  No response.  This is very worrying.

We leave through the convention center at the hotel.  We see a man on a cell phone, with his suit coat unbuttoned, and tie loose, in a complete state of stress, even though it is only 7:30am.  Something has obviously gone wrong with the event he was coordinating that day, and it is all he can do to not yell into the phone.  We pass by a table with bored staffers sitting by big stacks of conference materials.  My body remembers all of this, and I feel a spasm of sympathetic stress, then feel glad it is not me organizing this event.

Wausau has a full set of bike routes around the town, but the desk clerks are only vaguely aware of them.  Wes spends 15 minutes with one clerk, who tries to describe the bike route to the beginning of the Mountain to Bay Trail.  It is clear she is having a hard time getting out of her car brain.  (This is quite common---most people answer the question “how far?” with “how long it takes to drive there.”) Finally, she gets her brain re-oriented and gives Wes excellent, complicated instructions that wind us through town, through suburbs and parkland, and finally around a mountain to get to the start of this 110 mile rails to trail path.

At first we are confused when we get close.  All we see is a ragged path with a rough and sandy surface.  We follow it a quarter mile, already making plans to find another route, when we see the actual beginning of the route, with its kiosk, tables, restrooms, and asphalt surface.  What a relief!  We start making our way on the path.  We will ride this path all the way to Green Bay, with a stop in the tourist town of Schawano.

The first part is beautifully maintained, with lots of parks, kiosks, and waymarkers.  However, by the time we get to Eland, where we planned to take our break, the trail has deteriorated to a two track, with exceptionally rough bridges over an increasingly remote and boggy landscape.  The bridges always have sponsorship signs, saying things like “Bridge sponsored by Knechtel Construction.”   We make up stories about going into Knechtel Construction and saying, “You know that bridge you sponsored 15 years ago when they first built the rails to trails?  It’s a mess now….are you sponsoring its repairs now?   You aren’t?  Didn’t you know that you are responsible for those bridges as long as your sign is standing?  You didn’t?  You’ll need to consult the fine print on page 14b of your sponsorship agreement.  Please see the footnote: “Sponsorship in Perpetuity”.  It doesn’t help with the splintered boards sticking up, or the 2 inch drops off the end of the bridge, but it amuses us and helps to pass the time.

We completely lose the track at Eland, and there is no place whatever to take a break or buy some food.  We start following a track, but the mileage markers have started over and the direction isn’t right.  (One of the on-going jokes of this trip has to do with the compass Wes is carrying.  On the night before we left Wyoming, Wes had a small smeltdown about the weight we were carrying.  One of things he wanted to jettison as excess weight was the 2 ounce compass.  I insisted and, of course, we have used the compass every day and sometimes it has absolutely saved the day.) 

We go back to where we lost the track and puzzle over the course of action.  I try my brothers’ numbers again to no avail.  I send an email.  I leave a message with my second brother, Scott, to see if he has heard anything from Stephen.

Thank goodness a mom, her teenage son and two tiny, barky dogs decide to go for a walk.  They give us directions, explaining how this is a crossroads of several trails and that our branch will veer off and go the right direction in another mile.  They also tell us there are two places to get food within the next five miles: either at the Mohican casino at the next crossroads, or go straight south to Wittenberg. “My son has walked there before!” she offers.

We thank them kindly, make our way to the crossroads, while wondering how the Mohican people, originally from New York State, ended up here in mid-Wisconsin.  We constantly marvel at how often people give us suggestions for 10 mile or more detours for food or recreation.  I suppose this is another form of car brain. 

At the next road crossing, we look down and see a small, forlorn looking casino.  No thanks. Something is bound to come up.  The route becomes more remote.  We cross through large stands of 2nd or 3rd growth timber.  It doesn’t look like many cyclists have been on this route.   We pass no walkers, no bicyclists.   At a certain point, we are dead hungry.  We have been cycling from Wausau for many hours, and have gone about 35 miles.  Now is the time for what we call “Emergency apples.”  We always carry an apple or two with us.  I sometimes have cream cheese or peanut butter from the breakfast bar. 

In the midst of the forest, we stop at one of the picnic tables set periodically about the trail.  We eat an apple, an orange, and two small packets of peanut butter.  We tap into our water stores.  It will have to do.  Something is bound to come up.

The trail crosses all sorts of paved and dirt roads.  For quite a long way, at these intersections, we see signs to Bonnie’s Bar and Grill.  It has the same effect as the signs advertising Wall Drug.  We really want to know where this Bar and Grill is.  Finally, about 45 miles in, and fairly late in the afternoon, I spot the town of Bowler just off the track. I see a beer sign in the distance.  Like a hound on a scent, I call Wes and we wend our way to Bonnie’s Bar and Grill.

It is capacious and north-woodsy, with all sorts of dead animals on the wall.  We make our way to the bar, where there are three men and  a woman laughing uproariously.  One fellow is gigantic, maybe 6’5, muscular in a big belly sort of way, with his arm in a sling.  The fellow next to him is rather short, as round as he is tall, with a huge bruise on his cheek and a large bandage on his brow.  Next to him is a slender fellow with big aviator style glasses and a Packers baseball cap.  Around the corner, a blousy blonde whose dye-job needs a re-touch, supposedly doing the books, but mostly laughing and joking, is Bonnie herself. 

The two guys are off work after a car wreck somehow related to their work, so now they are killing time at Bonnie’s, who they expect to keep them entertained.  They roll dice, they tell jokes.  She gets out some kind of numbers game that will give them free appetizers.  The aviator glasses guy is some sort of dogsbody, although we don’t think he actually works at the bar.  Bonnie tells him to go check on our order and he does.  Oh, could he please go see how much butter is still in the back, and he does.  The bartender is the solid center of this cacophonous group, but even so, after hearing that we travelling to Shawano, pulls in closer to warn us.  “Make sure you don’t stay in the cult hotel there.”

We ask about the cult, and she hollers over at Bonnie, “Hey Bonnie, tell these guys about the cult in Shwano!”  Bonnie couldn’t be more bored to tell us that the police raided the hotel there where the proprietors were selling sex parties in the guise of religious experiences as well as rooms.    The 30 year bartender was titillated by this news, Bonnie, not so much.

Just as we getting ready to leave, a brown skinned fellow with big red suspenders comes over and introduces himself to us.  “I heard you say that you are from Wyoming.  I used to live in Wyoming, so I thought I would come say hi.”  As it turns out, Gary is a Mohican who lived for a while in Sheridan, Wyoming.  He knew a lot of folks up there and had quite a few acquaintances on the Crow and Sioux reservations in Montana.  He was tickled by our stories of our encounters with the Assiniboine people.  When I told him about one of the mysteries we encountered on the trip---why do the Blackfeet people in Western Montana speak an Algonquin dialect?—he responds, “That’s what we speak!  I had no idea!  Man, I need to find out the story on that!”

Just as we leave, a news report about the Colorado floods comes on the bar television.  It is much worse than anyone expected and it is still raining.  I still have not heard anything from anyone in Colorado or Wyoming.

Bonnie’s has been a great, much needed stop (although with less than average bar food), but it is getting late, and we still have fifteen miles to Shawano (said Schwano).   About eight miles outside of this resort community on the lake, the trail returns to asphalt and we are going as fast as we can, knowing that we will lose the light if don’t get there soon.  About 1 mile away from town, the trail just ends.  We wander about, cross the nearby freeway, and end up on the busy main road into town.  It is after 5, and we know from past experience, that everything in these small towns will close at any moment.

We have reserved a cottage on the lake, with a kitchenette.  We want to pick up food and get to our cabin before dark.  Wes is agitated about our situation, especially after the detour and trail confusion.  We try to call the small resort for instructions, but there is no answer.  This should have been the first clue.  We ask a fellow on the side of the road how to get to this resort; he has never heard of it and can’t help us.  This should have been the second clue.  Finally, Wes goes into a store just as they are closing, while I try to use the map feature on my phone to figure out where we need to go.

As some of you know, Wes is big and energetic even when he is calm.  When he is anxious and hyped up, he can be overwhelming.  When I went into the store to tell him I found the route, I see the small, middle-aged store owner with a map quaking in front of big, gesticulating Wes, who is demanding where is the closest grocery store.  The fellow says, “The main store is just a few blocks to the south…” Wes almost shouts, “That’s the wrong direction! Isn’t there something to the east….?”  The storeowner offers, “There’s a Wallmart…”  Wes, “A Wallmart?!!!”   I guide Wes away and we make our way in the dying light to our resort on the lake.  We pick up some prepared food and a bottle of wine, look longingly at the nice looking motels in town, and wind our way through a tiny road during a spectacular sunset until we find the West Shore Resort.

Our hearts sink as we go into the office, which reeks of uncleaned cat boxes.  The little bent man finally comes out, rubs his eyes, apologizes and says he spent the day at the hospital with his wife, who’s not doing so good.  He doesn’t know how to run the credit card machine, and scribbles down the number, mumbling, “My daughter will take care of it in the morning.”   He tells us that most of these cabins now have month to month renters, but that he likes to keep one available for people like us.   He stresses, like a mantra, that it has a kitchenette and two bedrooms.

We walk through the grounds in the dying light and see that this resort has become low end housing.  The unit is horrible.  It is dark and too late to leave.  Wes sits in one chair, and jumps right up.  The arms are sticky with some sort of unknown goo.  He sits in another.  Its leg is broken.  The nicest chair in the lot has ink spilled all over it.  I am sullen; Wes is livid.  I sit silently and read in the one chair I trust.  Wes paces the room, lamenting his fate and wanting me to be as upset as he is.   This is one of the worst places we have ever stayed, made much worse by the resort price we paid.  This is not one of our better nights.

The next morning we get out of there as soon as possible.   The best thing about a bike trip is that nothing lasts too long.  Soon we are back on the path and on our way to Green Bay, where we will encounter more of weird, the wild, and the wonderful of Wisconsin.

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posted from Port Dover, ONT

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